Fantasies.

I have a whole bunch of recurring fantasies right now.

That'd be because I'm not at all where I want to be in regards to most things. I'm not too down about that, I've just got a lot to do and I feel like I've fallen behind of my own absurd expectations.

I want to go over a bunch of those, while I collect other thoughts in a word document. I'm a scatter brain, I guess? My brain is very much like the floor of my room right now - all the things.

One of the previously most regular things has been just moving out and into a flat, maybe a shared one. Well, it'd have to be. And then I went to Cathy's flat that I don't understand how she can afford, and this fantasy of mine sky rocketed. I just don't want to live here.

There's other stuff - like the generic Quit Work fantasy, where you tell the boss to go fuck themselves in one way or another. I've been having that one all day to the point where I pretty much convinced myself to quit.

Then I've also been having a recurring FILTHY fantasy. That one sort of combines with the flat fantasy sometimes. No, wait, it always does. I guess that's because I can't deal with any level of intimacy while here, ahah, in a place that isn't mine.

There's also stuff where I can actually do some good art and I guess people like it. So that's where that one goes wrong. Shouldn't be creating that shit for other people? But I guess that's half the fun, considering my main interest and thing I want to do is "tell stories". But I don't actually have any fantasy regarding that - telling stories. I would have thought maybe there'd be some success fantasy or something, but there isn't. Which I think is maybe cool. There's no headscpectation of where I need to go with that if I was to do it.

A headspectation is like an expectation, but over-thought to the point where it's intimidating, or silly and out of reach. I'd know. I made it up.

What a stupid word.

THE END.

Let's move to Hull?

I'm listening to Anamanaguchi's "Meow". There are two cats on my bed, of course, and a repeating ache in my right hands pinky.

Today I chilled out with mah pal LOUIS from HULL. He does games development - programming and maths. He's a super great fella in a whole bunch of ways.

Anyway, he has this big office space that he doesn't fully use, so as well as inviting a whole bunch of people there - he invited me along too. It'd be free becasue he's just that sort of guy. I'm quite lucky with some of the friends I've acquired.

It's funny, because just yesterday while fantasising about quitting work, and picking up on one of Louis' past offers was an option that crossed my mind. And then he and I chilled today, and the offer was made. It's when things like these happens, that I then like to pretend that I'm actually in some simulation, or story, or cosmic role playing game - because it just seems constructed. And then I remember that there's such a thing as "coincidence".

Hull's pretty cheap, and it'd cost me around £50-£60 rent a week, and I'd know folks already, to some small degree. It'd get things checked off of my list, such as moving out, and actually working on shit, whether it's my own stuff or collaboratively in that space.

I'd like to do it.

I'm wondering if I could get a Domino's transfer up there? But I'd rather just put the nail in that coffin. Fuck pizza.

I think that's all I initially have to say. I'm going to get food and see what other things my mind will conjure. I want to elaborate on some fantasies perhaps, but then I think that maybe I don't. HA HA HA. I do.

Unrelated: Wouldn't "Catharsis" be a cool name for a legendary sword? No? Okay :(