PSEUDO-FRIENDS
Mar. 29th, 2013 01:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
significantbiasI'm finally feeling more and more motivated recently. The stars are aligning and I'll finally raise form my slumber, and consume the world.
I'm glad most of the bad shit is over, and I've really been tested as a person over the last year (which happened to be everyone's WORST YEAR EVER), shit kept getting thrown at me, and pretty much no-one wanted anything to do with that. At the time, that bothered me endlessly - how whenever I asked for help, it fell "unheard", ignored.
It was so shit at the time, especially from people I consider(ed) friends, but really, that's okay? People have their own shit to deal with, obviously. It was pulling the rug out from under my feet, but ultimately that's put me in a better position in regards to how I feel about myself and life.
At this point it's pretty clean cut who my friends are and aren't - or rather, who I really can afford to set aside time for? And vise versa, who can really afford to spare time for me. Last year I'd get really down and keep coming back to the fact that I can only count my friends on two hands if I push it, and really it'd be on just one - and goddamit... THAT'S SO OKAY.
That's the way shit is. People have a tight buncha friends, often with no link between one another, and then sort of background friends that float in and out of their fun and exciting don't-have-tome-for-you things, and that's cool too, because good for them and doing shit! But there are those solid few that you CAN rely on for consistency, and you'll rely on them for that consistency.
For me, the interesting thing is who these people are? Because really, some of my "best friends" treated me like shit, or some of the people I considered myself closest to are simply never available. The second one of these things is okay.
I think it was pretty tough actually getting here to be cool with a lot of this, but it's all good, man. Admitedly, the number of people I can rely on is like, 2? 3? And to push that number up cannot become a goal, but should be a byproduct of whatever else you've got going on.
Some of the realisations leading to this sucked so hard, but whatever, man. WHATEVER. It's really not that hard to make a change regarding friendship groups anyway (mostly), and if people were ultimately a negative force, their lacking presence can result in positive change pretty fucking fast.
I'm glad most of the bad shit is over, and I've really been tested as a person over the last year (which happened to be everyone's WORST YEAR EVER), shit kept getting thrown at me, and pretty much no-one wanted anything to do with that. At the time, that bothered me endlessly - how whenever I asked for help, it fell "unheard", ignored.
It was so shit at the time, especially from people I consider(ed) friends, but really, that's okay? People have their own shit to deal with, obviously. It was pulling the rug out from under my feet, but ultimately that's put me in a better position in regards to how I feel about myself and life.
At this point it's pretty clean cut who my friends are and aren't - or rather, who I really can afford to set aside time for? And vise versa, who can really afford to spare time for me. Last year I'd get really down and keep coming back to the fact that I can only count my friends on two hands if I push it, and really it'd be on just one - and goddamit... THAT'S SO OKAY.
That's the way shit is. People have a tight buncha friends, often with no link between one another, and then sort of background friends that float in and out of their fun and exciting don't-have-tome-for-you things, and that's cool too, because good for them and doing shit! But there are those solid few that you CAN rely on for consistency, and you'll rely on them for that consistency.
For me, the interesting thing is who these people are? Because really, some of my "best friends" treated me like shit, or some of the people I considered myself closest to are simply never available. The second one of these things is okay.
I think it was pretty tough actually getting here to be cool with a lot of this, but it's all good, man. Admitedly, the number of people I can rely on is like, 2? 3? And to push that number up cannot become a goal, but should be a byproduct of whatever else you've got going on.
Some of the realisations leading to this sucked so hard, but whatever, man. WHATEVER. It's really not that hard to make a change regarding friendship groups anyway (mostly), and if people were ultimately a negative force, their lacking presence can result in positive change pretty fucking fast.
