(no subject)
i had breasts in my dream this morning.
(no subject)
I love it when someone in mean of 4chan, and then someone tells them off - "calm down" - and then the first anon is all like "im sorry. bad day".
its cute.
its cute.
(no subject)
I'm p sure this is life attempting to take a turn for the worse and I really need to do my best to stop that.
I really need that confiscated £500 back immediately, otherwise PROBLEMS.
Life is so stacked against people and it's utterly redonk, yo.
It sucks that in order to maintain self worth I had to eliminate:
-friends
-the majority of the chance of ever seeing actual last few remaining friends
-the chance of moving out in the next 5 years (this is the worst thing ever, btw)
It's these things that make me wish I could just pack up and leave. Move country. To where I actually have the excuse of nobody fucking knowing/seeing me. It'd be a huge relief and I feel like I need that change of setting.
But that's another thing that just need more money.
There's plenty more of these eliminated factors, but whatever. It's just funny, though. I'm doing really fucking well, but then also I'm not, becasue this is the rug being tucked at from under my feet and I'm probably going to fall flat on my face - and it's all becasue I gave a shit about my self worth??
Shit, hahahaha. I guess I won't be making THAT mistake again.
And right now I don't feel like I have any semblance of talent, nor friends when I once again really need them.
Shit, that was another previous mistake. Being reliant on other people for company.
I really need that confiscated £500 back immediately, otherwise PROBLEMS.
Life is so stacked against people and it's utterly redonk, yo.
It sucks that in order to maintain self worth I had to eliminate:
-friends
-the majority of the chance of ever seeing actual last few remaining friends
-the chance of moving out in the next 5 years (this is the worst thing ever, btw)
It's these things that make me wish I could just pack up and leave. Move country. To where I actually have the excuse of nobody fucking knowing/seeing me. It'd be a huge relief and I feel like I need that change of setting.
But that's another thing that just need more money.
There's plenty more of these eliminated factors, but whatever. It's just funny, though. I'm doing really fucking well, but then also I'm not, becasue this is the rug being tucked at from under my feet and I'm probably going to fall flat on my face - and it's all becasue I gave a shit about my self worth??
Shit, hahahaha. I guess I won't be making THAT mistake again.
And right now I don't feel like I have any semblance of talent, nor friends when I once again really need them.
Shit, that was another previous mistake. Being reliant on other people for company.
(no subject)
I speak of this fairly often, but I seriously need to create a tabletop RPG based on POPULAR MUSIC. As also discussed towards friends faces, you'd play as different band members - up and coming rock stars, or whatever.
It's already something that could very easily function in an existing game system, but then that can be said for ALL tabletop rpgs, right? You can craft a sanity function much like from Call of Cthulhu and tack it onto the side of D&D. The thing with tabletop games is that, really, if the groups cool with the homerules that are set, anything can happen - and that's why it's the best. It's 100% a game of make belief around a table with creatives, and it's AWESOME.
I want to create the CORE RULE SYSTEM for a music based game. Or a performance based game. Sort of tongue in check, much of the time. I don't know. That depends on who's playing.
I really like the idea of the players having to tour from town to town, and deal with shit along the way. Or maybe even playing as roadies (I was once briefly a roadie - it was SHIT). Or playing as the folks trying to make a living at whatever venue that these over the top rockstars turn up at, frequently resulting in chaos.
Most people roll their eyes at me when I say this crap unless they've actually played D&D with me. SIGH.
It will be so much fun.
I mean, earlier on, when you're opening for other bands, or playing in rough taverns hahahaha, and you're more likely to fail dice rolls and hilarity may ensue?? Goddammit I can't quite get out what I want to say.
I need to like. Discuss this with a bunch of people. People knowledgeable about tabletop games, people knowledgeable about music history, and blah blah blah.
It would be a very cool game to play.
I think I'm just going to go ahead and start working on it regardless of other peeps... even if it will just be a slow project in the background.
It's already something that could very easily function in an existing game system, but then that can be said for ALL tabletop rpgs, right? You can craft a sanity function much like from Call of Cthulhu and tack it onto the side of D&D. The thing with tabletop games is that, really, if the groups cool with the homerules that are set, anything can happen - and that's why it's the best. It's 100% a game of make belief around a table with creatives, and it's AWESOME.
I want to create the CORE RULE SYSTEM for a music based game. Or a performance based game. Sort of tongue in check, much of the time. I don't know. That depends on who's playing.
I really like the idea of the players having to tour from town to town, and deal with shit along the way. Or maybe even playing as roadies (I was once briefly a roadie - it was SHIT). Or playing as the folks trying to make a living at whatever venue that these over the top rockstars turn up at, frequently resulting in chaos.
Most people roll their eyes at me when I say this crap unless they've actually played D&D with me. SIGH.
It will be so much fun.
I mean, earlier on, when you're opening for other bands, or playing in rough taverns hahahaha, and you're more likely to fail dice rolls and hilarity may ensue?? Goddammit I can't quite get out what I want to say.
I need to like. Discuss this with a bunch of people. People knowledgeable about tabletop games, people knowledgeable about music history, and blah blah blah.
It would be a very cool game to play.
I think I'm just going to go ahead and start working on it regardless of other peeps... even if it will just be a slow project in the background.
(no subject)
I really wish these emails didn't have to be SO LEGIT.
I'd much rather fill them to the brim with Aslan Silva's special brand of Snark.
I'd much rather fill them to the brim with Aslan Silva's special brand of Snark.
(no subject)
Is this the end to my taxing woes?
Will Aslan receive their due pay?
Find out NEXT TIME on WOW THIS IS FUCKING STUPID.
Will Aslan receive their due pay?
Find out NEXT TIME on WOW THIS IS FUCKING STUPID.
thoughts
ahhhhhh there were so many fucking dicks at university.
...tomorrow I need to fix my PC and GET TO WORRRKKK........
I want to absorb everything Polysics but there's so much of it?????
It'd be nice to just sit down and listen to music with folks too :3
I'm currently stumped by a whole slew of things SIGHHH
god I hate the way the smell of smoke clings to things
I want a denim jacket. This one:
When I look at these photos I'm like WOWOW THAT LOOKS NICE and then I remember that wait I'm not THAT cute. WIll the jacket make me this cute??? BUY KACJET AND FIND OUT.
haha no money
there are a few others i like the look of but im not going to link them becasue they're not as good and the people are trying REALLY HARD to be attractive, and they're the really call "model faced" people who everyone is super attracted to and it's really fucking stupid.
not many people have faces like that this is just unrealistic. I can see that it suits you very well, tall attractive person.
i have a headache from sniffing things that smell like smoke. I shouldn't do that.
I always feel bad for being like OH GROSS SMOKE SMELLS. its not like I'm bothered if people smoke or smoke around me, I'd just rather my stuff didn't smell like that and some things just cant be washed.
I think if I don't do some of the following soon, things will become very lonely and/or problematic:
-Move
-Find a new job
no wait, that's like it...? But, it's kind of hard and I keep going on about this SHIT.
all talk no walk.
I typed walt there first. He's no walk either, he's all "RUN!" after shooing some goons in the face and jesse looks onwards, shocked. WIth a face like :O
i dont like how when suddenly there's loads of stuff I'd really like to invest in my job fails on me OH WELL AHAHAHAH.
it was a nice distraction while it lasted.
I AM DOING WELL, YES.
I think in my current place the only real option I really have is to just... draw shit... while looking for a job???
I need to work on some skill and get more cash from SOMEWHERE. but i'm always debating whether I should even bother with that as the skill (which perhaps means the answer is no??). But what else is there.
If I wanted to do something like tabletop design I DONT KNOW MAN :((
actually I could do that but fuck.
waht
the end! :::;D
...tomorrow I need to fix my PC and GET TO WORRRKKK........
I want to absorb everything Polysics but there's so much of it?????
It'd be nice to just sit down and listen to music with folks too :3
I'm currently stumped by a whole slew of things SIGHHH
god I hate the way the smell of smoke clings to things
I want a denim jacket. This one:
When I look at these photos I'm like WOWOW THAT LOOKS NICE and then I remember that wait I'm not THAT cute. WIll the jacket make me this cute??? BUY KACJET AND FIND OUT.
haha no money
there are a few others i like the look of but im not going to link them becasue they're not as good and the people are trying REALLY HARD to be attractive, and they're the really call "model faced" people who everyone is super attracted to and it's really fucking stupid.
not many people have faces like that this is just unrealistic. I can see that it suits you very well, tall attractive person.
i have a headache from sniffing things that smell like smoke. I shouldn't do that.
I always feel bad for being like OH GROSS SMOKE SMELLS. its not like I'm bothered if people smoke or smoke around me, I'd just rather my stuff didn't smell like that and some things just cant be washed.
I think if I don't do some of the following soon, things will become very lonely and/or problematic:
-Move
-Find a new job
no wait, that's like it...? But, it's kind of hard and I keep going on about this SHIT.
all talk no walk.
I typed walt there first. He's no walk either, he's all "RUN!" after shooing some goons in the face and jesse looks onwards, shocked. WIth a face like :O
i dont like how when suddenly there's loads of stuff I'd really like to invest in my job fails on me OH WELL AHAHAHAH.
it was a nice distraction while it lasted.
I AM DOING WELL, YES.
I think in my current place the only real option I really have is to just... draw shit... while looking for a job???
I need to work on some skill and get more cash from SOMEWHERE. but i'm always debating whether I should even bother with that as the skill (which perhaps means the answer is no??). But what else is there.
If I wanted to do something like tabletop design I DONT KNOW MAN :((
actually I could do that but fuck.
waht
the end! :::;D
continued
Fuck, well I just found out it's unlikely I will even get that cash back this year. Fuck fuck fuck.
At least working for what feels like £1 an hour isn't the end of the world, it's just a shitty "temporary" setback, right?
It's still to be mine, and a TBA date? Yeah, only like... over a year later.
I'm upset by this. And it could have all been avoided if the job centre actually sent off forms like they should? But I find it very difficult to be angry at humans, because they excel as incompetence, and it's to be very expected when money is involved.
Shit, I need to get away from all this SO BADLY, becasue this is not how things should ever be.
At least working for what feels like £1 an hour isn't the end of the world, it's just a shitty "temporary" setback, right?
It's still to be mine, and a TBA date? Yeah, only like... over a year later.
I'm upset by this. And it could have all been avoided if the job centre actually sent off forms like they should? But I find it very difficult to be angry at humans, because they excel as incompetence, and it's to be very expected when money is involved.
Shit, I need to get away from all this SO BADLY, becasue this is not how things should ever be.
money and stuff
There's a kickstarter that I'd really like to throw as much money as possible at. I've wanted Dwarven Forge dungeon tiles for a while. Just the plain old regular ones for dungeon crawls (which is something my D&D Campaigns actually have a lack of). And now there's this kickstarter AND OH HEY LOOK THE TILES ARE NOW ACTUALLY MUCH CHEAPER COOL.
But I can't really afford that. Actually, it's been very annoying...
Because I previously held around 30 hours a week at work. That now stands at around 5, which means I usually can't even pay my target rent to help out. This is becasue the boss is one of those managers that disregards how hard people actually work, and willingly swaps out good employees for friends he went to school with. Yep.
It's bizarre, but there's no way around it.
(The length of time I've had to nag for my contract is RIDONK too, but whatevs)
Then there's some other money stuff. Like I'd REALLY like to buy some wardrobe things. I actually have some things in mind now, but I'm not sure it's going to happen for a very long time. Which sucks. At the moment I just cycle between a few combinations of items - and I'm not exactly happy about those.
And then I'd really like to be able to afford those glasses sometime??
And then I'm owed around £550 pounds becasue I'm STILL getting taxed despite not earning above the margin or whatever to be eligible for that. I was kind of okay with being able to say "well, at least it's building up in the background until TAX REBATE" but that's a lie. If anything, that's going to be a good weeks or so worth of money wasted on phonecalls to even get those dots connected.
Fucking hell, it's been atrocious so far...
I'd really like to move out, but the thought it beyond laughable. HAHAHAH, the idea of moving to these places where I actually have cool "offers" and prospects, because FUCK, I don't actually have what it takes to pull my finger out and work the magic to get out of this bullshit system I actually haver the luxury to be partaking in.
It sucks that I'm going to watch the opportunity for LIVE MUSIC roll around and not be able to do anything.
I wish I lived in closer proximity to more friends. Or, well, was in proximity to friends at all. It's always such a fiasco to see anyone and get a lift or catch a train - which is fine. But it's just hit the point where unless people are offering me those lifts, I can't get there. I don't have the few pounds for bus fair at the point. I missed rent by £6, and likely will continue to do so.
~The End~
?
But I can't really afford that. Actually, it's been very annoying...
Because I previously held around 30 hours a week at work. That now stands at around 5, which means I usually can't even pay my target rent to help out. This is becasue the boss is one of those managers that disregards how hard people actually work, and willingly swaps out good employees for friends he went to school with. Yep.
It's bizarre, but there's no way around it.
(The length of time I've had to nag for my contract is RIDONK too, but whatevs)
Then there's some other money stuff. Like I'd REALLY like to buy some wardrobe things. I actually have some things in mind now, but I'm not sure it's going to happen for a very long time. Which sucks. At the moment I just cycle between a few combinations of items - and I'm not exactly happy about those.
And then I'd really like to be able to afford those glasses sometime??
And then I'm owed around £550 pounds becasue I'm STILL getting taxed despite not earning above the margin or whatever to be eligible for that. I was kind of okay with being able to say "well, at least it's building up in the background until TAX REBATE" but that's a lie. If anything, that's going to be a good weeks or so worth of money wasted on phonecalls to even get those dots connected.
Fucking hell, it's been atrocious so far...
I'd really like to move out, but the thought it beyond laughable. HAHAHAH, the idea of moving to these places where I actually have cool "offers" and prospects, because FUCK, I don't actually have what it takes to pull my finger out and work the magic to get out of this bullshit system I actually haver the luxury to be partaking in.
It sucks that I'm going to watch the opportunity for LIVE MUSIC roll around and not be able to do anything.
I wish I lived in closer proximity to more friends. Or, well, was in proximity to friends at all. It's always such a fiasco to see anyone and get a lift or catch a train - which is fine. But it's just hit the point where unless people are offering me those lifts, I can't get there. I don't have the few pounds for bus fair at the point. I missed rent by £6, and likely will continue to do so.
~The End~
?
(no subject)
>people who continually insist on lion/narnia references.
SO ORIGINAL YOU GUYS, ahaha.
Also, PRO TIP: Don't pay for Sky Broadband. Terrible (in this area anyway...)
SO ORIGINAL YOU GUYS, ahaha.
Also, PRO TIP: Don't pay for Sky Broadband. Terrible (in this area anyway...)
(no subject)
I have two buddies that are insistent that I write up on >>DM THEORY<<
It's really cute and funny that they think I'm top notch at it ahahahah, though I am massive proud of all the sessions they have been witness to. A whole three of them.
It does help that that group has really great players too. It is just a huge collaboration after all.
...I'm slowly working through a big write up of those sessions, but that's summing up over 20+ hours of role-playing at a table, which can be quite wordy.
...
I have ever so slight DM fatigue at the moment.
It's really cute and funny that they think I'm top notch at it ahahahah, though I am massive proud of all the sessions they have been witness to. A whole three of them.
It does help that that group has really great players too. It is just a huge collaboration after all.
...I'm slowly working through a big write up of those sessions, but that's summing up over 20+ hours of role-playing at a table, which can be quite wordy.
...
I have ever so slight DM fatigue at the moment.
(no subject)
After all this time, I'm so glad there's actually a forum I enjoy posting on, and I've pretty much been there from the start and pretty much no-one is annoying???? :D
PSEUDO-FRIENDS
I'm finally feeling more and more motivated recently. The stars are aligning and I'll finally raise form my slumber, and consume the world.
I'm glad most of the bad shit is over, and I've really been tested as a person over the last year (which happened to be everyone's WORST YEAR EVER), shit kept getting thrown at me, and pretty much no-one wanted anything to do with that. At the time, that bothered me endlessly - how whenever I asked for help, it fell "unheard", ignored.
It was so shit at the time, especially from people I consider(ed) friends, but really, that's okay? People have their own shit to deal with, obviously. It was pulling the rug out from under my feet, but ultimately that's put me in a better position in regards to how I feel about myself and life.
At this point it's pretty clean cut who my friends are and aren't - or rather, who I really can afford to set aside time for? And vise versa, who can really afford to spare time for me. Last year I'd get really down and keep coming back to the fact that I can only count my friends on two hands if I push it, and really it'd be on just one - and goddamit... THAT'S SO OKAY.
That's the way shit is. People have a tight buncha friends, often with no link between one another, and then sort of background friends that float in and out of their fun and exciting don't-have-tome-for-you things, and that's cool too, because good for them and doing shit! But there are those solid few that you CAN rely on for consistency, and you'll rely on them for that consistency.
For me, the interesting thing is who these people are? Because really, some of my "best friends" treated me like shit, or some of the people I considered myself closest to are simply never available. The second one of these things is okay.
I think it was pretty tough actually getting here to be cool with a lot of this, but it's all good, man. Admitedly, the number of people I can rely on is like, 2? 3? And to push that number up cannot become a goal, but should be a byproduct of whatever else you've got going on.
Some of the realisations leading to this sucked so hard, but whatever, man. WHATEVER. It's really not that hard to make a change regarding friendship groups anyway (mostly), and if people were ultimately a negative force, their lacking presence can result in positive change pretty fucking fast.
I'm glad most of the bad shit is over, and I've really been tested as a person over the last year (which happened to be everyone's WORST YEAR EVER), shit kept getting thrown at me, and pretty much no-one wanted anything to do with that. At the time, that bothered me endlessly - how whenever I asked for help, it fell "unheard", ignored.
It was so shit at the time, especially from people I consider(ed) friends, but really, that's okay? People have their own shit to deal with, obviously. It was pulling the rug out from under my feet, but ultimately that's put me in a better position in regards to how I feel about myself and life.
At this point it's pretty clean cut who my friends are and aren't - or rather, who I really can afford to set aside time for? And vise versa, who can really afford to spare time for me. Last year I'd get really down and keep coming back to the fact that I can only count my friends on two hands if I push it, and really it'd be on just one - and goddamit... THAT'S SO OKAY.
That's the way shit is. People have a tight buncha friends, often with no link between one another, and then sort of background friends that float in and out of their fun and exciting don't-have-tome-for-you things, and that's cool too, because good for them and doing shit! But there are those solid few that you CAN rely on for consistency, and you'll rely on them for that consistency.
For me, the interesting thing is who these people are? Because really, some of my "best friends" treated me like shit, or some of the people I considered myself closest to are simply never available. The second one of these things is okay.
I think it was pretty tough actually getting here to be cool with a lot of this, but it's all good, man. Admitedly, the number of people I can rely on is like, 2? 3? And to push that number up cannot become a goal, but should be a byproduct of whatever else you've got going on.
Some of the realisations leading to this sucked so hard, but whatever, man. WHATEVER. It's really not that hard to make a change regarding friendship groups anyway (mostly), and if people were ultimately a negative force, their lacking presence can result in positive change pretty fucking fast.
slgj;dsk;lvdslfvc
One of my few friends is currently at GDC and just uploaded a picture of him with Joe Staten, one of our heroes and I'M SO HAPPY FOR HIM :'D
I can't really articulate beyond that.
I can't really articulate beyond that.
(no subject)
I have a really small "work space" in my room that currently has much blank wall beside it. Once the whiteboard is up, the remaining space will be occupied by a few pictures of inspirational people/places. Yes. There's a few pictures of shit I'd like to be all over that just get me so pumped and inspired and I can't wait to get those fuckers printed out.
THE END.
THE END.
Today has been okay!
First, soon after waking up, I watched the Hobbit. This is the best way to start any day. The film is mega cute and pretty and amazing. Well, I didn't watch the full thing becasue my mother fell asleep half way through due to MEDICATION. So tomorrow I will watch the rest.
It also meant I had some of the Shire music stuck in my head all day. So humming/whistling that everywhere you go makes you immune to bullshit that is often found in the presence of human beings.
My boss wasn't a colossal dick today, so that's cool. In fact, he was rather quite nice? I think when the Franchisee is in the building, like yesterday, he begins to panic and acts like a prick, even though that's super unprofessional. Hmmm.
Anyway, I actually got some okay hours today, and got two free pizzas and a hot bag to take them home in. That's quite awesome.
Another manager, not really my boss but a manager nonetheless, decided to talk to me endlessly about their favourite porn sites, and then went on to recommend me a bunch of things despite my lack of interest. It was quite amusing, though awkward. Apparently, once they're on the topic, it's very hard to veer them off.
Now I'm going watch either Whip It, or Easy A. Both CUTE films with ATTRACTIVE people. Mainly Whip It, I think. Yes.
Well, it will take a while to copy that shit over to my laptop from the ENTERTAINMENT PC, so before then I don't know. Hmm.
It also meant I had some of the Shire music stuck in my head all day. So humming/whistling that everywhere you go makes you immune to bullshit that is often found in the presence of human beings.
My boss wasn't a colossal dick today, so that's cool. In fact, he was rather quite nice? I think when the Franchisee is in the building, like yesterday, he begins to panic and acts like a prick, even though that's super unprofessional. Hmmm.
Anyway, I actually got some okay hours today, and got two free pizzas and a hot bag to take them home in. That's quite awesome.
Another manager, not really my boss but a manager nonetheless, decided to talk to me endlessly about their favourite porn sites, and then went on to recommend me a bunch of things despite my lack of interest. It was quite amusing, though awkward. Apparently, once they're on the topic, it's very hard to veer them off.
Now I'm going watch either Whip It, or Easy A. Both CUTE films with ATTRACTIVE people. Mainly Whip It, I think. Yes.
Well, it will take a while to copy that shit over to my laptop from the ENTERTAINMENT PC, so before then I don't know. Hmm.